I Downed My First Bird

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No Birds

I Downed My First Bird

Today was nice and sunny, plus I killed my first bird, which made it an extra special day. I usually don’t mind birds even though they’re flying shit bombers and they squeak, chirp, and squawk raucous noises constantly. What really bothers me about them is that they come into my yard like a pest and eat most of the fruits from my beautiful peach tree every year. Other non-lethal preventative measures are out of the question, they deserve the death penalty. It is for this reason that I decided to declare war on birds. I know it is like the war on drugs, a war which cannot be won, but I must try to win some battles.

I got my BB pistol ready and began hunting. I went outside searching for enemies in the backyard until I saw it, a target perched on a high branch of my pecan tree. Standing on it so carefree, idle, almost as if with an air of arrogance in it. I took aim from 50 feet away and began firing. Thanks to my terrible aim and a trigger-happy finger about half of the magazine was gone in a matter of a few seconds. It surprised me that this bird was impervious to the loud blasts the gun was making. Then after those near misses I finally landed a shot at the center mass of the brown bird. The sight was glorious, the manner in which the corpse twirled around on its downward trajectory was dramatic and elegant. I had seen birds being taken down on videos before, but the experience of seeing it in real life is more exciting as you’d expect.

 

The branch where it was on protruded into the alley, over my patio’s fence, which is where the body fell. By the way in which I shot it and saw it descending, I believed it was certain that it had died, but wanted to confirm the kill nonetheless. When I walked all the way to the alley I saw the formerly airborne rat lifeless on the ground. Just to make sure that it was dead I shot the corpse, emptying the remainder of the magazine. Unfortunately, I did not capture the moment in which I killed the bird on video. One bird won’t lower the population, but I consider this a step, a small battle won. I can proudly say that today I downed my first bird. See footage and pictures of another downed bird.

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