This is a story submitted by one of our subscribers, Joe M. If you would like to share a story, check out our contact us page. WARNING: This user’s post is graphic in nature and contains blood and gore.
Like the war on drugs, the war on birds is hard to win. Defending my tree has been an uphill battle. I did put a net over the tree after all, but it hasn’t been enough to save the peaches from the avian onslaught. Some birds get caught in the net, but most just go under or work around it since they are astute animals. As you can read from when I downed my first bird, they are not immune to ammunition however.
In the afternoon I went outside with the goal to kill at least 1 bird , and fortunately I managed to do that and scare off the others momentarily. I almost picked up another one but instead the bb just graced it and knocked some feathers away as it quickly took flight to escape.
The bird I did manage to kill was also standing on the wires, when I miraculously hit it with my terrible aim after several tries. At first I thought it had flown away injured, so I went to check. When I got to the scene I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I had indeed been able to kill it. Lying motionless and faced down onto the dirt, I was fairly certain it was dead and therefore not suffering.
Nonetheless I shot the sonuvabitch a couple times as I do just to make sure it wasn’t alive. Well maybe, just maybe, I also do it because it’s a lot of wholesome fun to shoot things, especially when that thing is a damned bird corpse. Another benefit of shooting the corpse, aside from being entertaining, was that the powerful shots jerked the body enough to make the head of the bird more visible, as shown in the pictures. In the picture below you can see blood on the head of the bird, I believe this to be the fatal “lucky” shot that returned that pest back to the belly of the beast, where it belongs.
If as to give it a proper funeral ceremony, or a final farewell, I decided to lastly drop a cinder block on the lifeless bird body. You know, to also accelerate the decomposition process and whatnot. I was also curious as to what a bird pancake would look like. Needless to say, it was a squished mess.
Because as you may have well known, the only good bird, is a dead bird.[drops mic]